Overtired of myself and my life.
Slept 15 hours in the last 12 days.
I'm so tired I just wanna sleep, feeling sick and out of focus.
Chronic stomachache and nausea are the result of my Insomnia.
But I don't wanna go to a neurologist, he'll give me pills...
..but I already take TOO much pills for someone of my age.
Today I was in the theme park "Phantasialand" (Brühl = Germany)
I was on every switchback and rollercoaster..I love Adrenaline,
but I'm so tired now..I tried to sleep ..my eyes are falling down..
..I'm tired..but I CAN'T sleep. Oh God Please Let Me S-L-E-E-P.
I don't know if I'd actually qualify as an insomniac but I would like some people to talk to when I'm awake at four in the morning. It gets boring as hell. I seem to be a naturally nocturnal person. I can never sleep during the day- as soon as the sun rises exhaustion rolls over me. In a past life, I'm sure I was a vampire.
I'm also new to Livejournal so I hope you guys don't mind if I do a little random friending.
Finally, I've found some others like me. I reckon you all know what I mean when I say that you sort of feel like the only one in the world who has Insomnia. You look around, everyone else is in bed. I'm very glad to have found some others who can't sleep.
its 11 past the midnight hour, and here i am, once again, thinking about the days past when i use to be able to stay awake to watch the sun creep over the sandia moutians, and still be able to sleep and wake up in time to get my ass to work.
that was only fucking 6 months ago. Ever since i was little ive had insomnia, i couldnt sleep, bad dreams, bad thoughts, bad vibes, always something bad. I would make it through the week on cat naps, sleeping until 4 on saturdays and sundays when i would return home from the boarding shool i got myself shipped off to.
then shit settled, i was put on adderall for ADD and at first, i could sleep, like normal. Then the bad dreams came back, worse than ever, after 8 months, i nearly went insane and i stopped seeing my psychologist who was then thinking i was skitzo and had oppositional conduct disorder, and was talking about sending me into 'rehab' which, suh, really means the ward. So i said fuck that, stopped taking the adderall and stopped seeing his dumb ass- he always finds things wrong wth me, IM NOT INSANE!.... i know im not right all upstairs, but I also know everything that is wrong with me I brought it all on myself. how... i really havent gotten there yet. But i will................. someday. *nods*
right now my husband is asleep in bed, i watch him, and i want to go to sleep too, like i use to, in his arms, all safe and secure... but night after night, he falls asleep before me, and i lie in bed, thinking...
.... bad things,
.... bad dreams,
.... bad vibes,
.... I have to go to work at 730 in the morning... and i cant sleep.
I cant eat anymore, it makes it sick.
this is insane, i have to find a way to sleep.
Last night was one of those nights. Do you suppose insomnia is genetic? I know that my grandmother never sleeps either. She stays up till daylight and just works around or something. I usually end up lying in bed thinking....and thinking....and thinking. I think I am ADD, my never stops running at high speeds. I also have to check myself and make sure I am talking slowly and in coherent sentences. At night it is the worst. I will try to sleep, I think sleep. But its like the light won't go out in my head.
None of my fellows really understand, they get 9 hours of sleep a night, and if I mention my one or two hours they think I am making shit up. Oh well.
Any suggestions for a restless mind?
Well, I've turned to liquor.
Sleeping aids aren't working as well as they used to and I am pretty sure I don't want to OD on them.
So a bottle of Jack sits by my desk, a used cup by my bed.
I'm not proud that I'm doing this. I wake in the morning with a headache, but some ibuprofin will help that. drugs to fix. drugs to destruct. Oh well.
A semi-good nights sleep feels better than I could ever hope.
Anyone want to chat? I'm bored as hell and am usually up till 4-4:30 am EST. Hit me up on aim, sirkls1. All my friends are in Florida for a car event, so I have nothinggggggggg to do!
So anything new going on for anyone ??? It is now 3:28 am Central Standard time and all I can say is Blerpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppidy Boo.